


Subliminal

by dollyfish



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Detectives, Alternate Universe - Police & Yakuza, Angst, Awkward Flirting, Crossdressing, Cuddling, Dirty Talk, Explicit Sexual Content, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Neck Kissing, Smut, Undercover as a Couple, miu and tsumugi are in the squad too, tsumugi's kinks are showing, which are also my kinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 09:58:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13385421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dollyfish/pseuds/dollyfish
Summary: “I didn’t notice the tattoo earlier”, Shuuichi remarked as he went to retrieve his dress, roughly folded on one of the pillows.“Oh, this? Most stupid thing I’ve ever done.” Kaito stared up at the ceiling with enigmatic fondness.“I thought fucking me beat that record."





	Subliminal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [antheeia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/antheeia/gifts).



> gift for a small server secret santa event, hope you enjoy it Anth! this is my attempt. i won't pretend it's good enough to show how much i value our frienship and you as a person. in fact, it sucks, but you love me so you'll take this atrocity anyway. 
> 
> I also liked your suggestion about maki so i turned it around a bit and this thing got completely out of control. now, without further ado...

  
  


“You should still be the one to do it, alright?” Shuuichi’s throat suddenly felt too dry and he had quite some trouble swallowing. 

The agent consulting practices while leaning on the cart was acting as though it was some ordinary occurrence. Her nerves surely were admirable today. Shuuichi’s rasping, almost disconsolate mutterings would not shake her an inch. “You said it yourself, that a woman would be more suitable for the job. Tenko has a valid point, for once. Think of the  _ press _ .”

“That shouldn’t get in the way”, the heartless being disguising as a police-woman drawled, bringing her black, sour, disgusting coffee to her smiling lips. “It’ll be our little secret.”

It was clear then. She was mocking him.

“Please… You really think it’s gonna be a  _ secret _ ? What if something unforeseeable happens? Like... an accident? Were I to intervene as an officer, it’s over for me. Meaning, it's over for the entire case.” Shuuichi considered wailing and pleading in the middle of the corridor, getting her to take pity on him, but if there was something he had learned after many a year of sleep-deprivation and anxiety-inducing work at the Central Investigative Department, it was that Maki Harukawa, above all his colleagues, did not tolerate childish behavior. At all. “Gosh, we’re gonna be in touch  _ all the time  _ with a hidden earpiece. Nobody’s gonna blow your cover, Miss Sonia Nevermind won’t be able to attend that night.”

Now, as the issue could not be sidestepped, he would have to use other means. 

“You received more specific training than me, I’m just… I just figure out the stuff you need to catch the bad guys.”

Her strict burgundy gaze transfixed him. “So what? The goal right now is to collect data about DICE, not taking it down. Which is why I’m basically useless. This party is the best opportunity we’ve had up to now to investigate these bastards.”

“Y-You’d also be pretty good at that.”

“Yeah, I manage. But no one nails it down like  _ you  _ do, Saihara.”

Shuuichi heaved a sigh and adjusted his cap, light years away from getting over his habit to fidget. Kaede could have eased the load on his heart with her touch alone, barely brushing her lithe fingers over his skin. Her positive encouragement was incredible in its simplicity. Trying to recall how that used to feel, Shuuichi willed his hands to stay by his sides. “Sure. I guess.”   
In a way, Maki clearly held back from prying further into his discomfort. Her face showed no compassion, except her next words sounded slightly more gentle; from her, it wasn’t particularly hard to notice. “Yeah. Also, Miu wants you down in her lab to show you the equipment at 6 sharp. Shirogane will be there too.”

“Shirogane?” He tried to pin down the unfamiliar name.

Maki turned her back on him and fled with a stack of papers, but not before clearing out his doubts with that unceremonious, confusing remark. “Your hairdresser.”

 

+++

 

For the first time, it would be improper to say that Shuuichi Saihara was in his element during an investigation.

He came from anything but a poor setting. His uncle, and only relative still alive, used to make a big fuss about social appearances, as he did not like them one bit but Shuuichi couldn’t remember a single time the old man had left the house without wearing a tailored vest and polished shoes. 

In fact the most frivolous social occasions Shuuichi had ever taken part in and gotten to know the dynamics of at least partly were the wild parties back in his college days. Even then, he certainly couldn’t call himself an enthusiast. 

As redundant as it sounded when he reminisced his past following his sixteen years of age, that swirling energy in his life had always been Kaede. 

Human beings are, almost to a fault, programed to follow the light; the only problem was  _ which _ one, as too many flashes and neons were blinding him at the moment, and Shuuichi couldn’t keep his attention on anything for too long, epileptic lights hitting the brim of wine glasses, creating distortions in the honey-toned liquid that filled them, refined jewelry catching their glint. The pieces of skin exposed to the ostentatious neons were covered in sweat, and a few drops trickled down Shuuichi’s hot forehead.

It was especially mortifying since the edge of the flowing black wig had practically been nailed to his scalp by a row of pins. The stifling heat, his own sweat and the light swaying back and forth of the stool he sat on (just enough to remind him he was on a boat, at least one hour away from the coastline) only served the purpose of making this situation unnecessarily awkward; but he just supposed he was probably just too sober. 

He took a strand of hair and brought it in front of his eyes critically.

“I don’t think I can do it,” he murmured, allowing himself a compliant now that the plan was actually in motion. Why should he care about being bratty at this point?

_ “You’ve been doing it for three hours.” _ A flat voice replied from his earpiece. Maki spoke conversationally, as if she was commenting on the weather; it was a clear and starless night, for the record, and not a wisp of wind was to be felt that could help alleviate the summer heat, heavy on Shuuichi’s chest like a hissing cinder.

“You know, I didn’t think fake hair would be so exhausting to pull off.”

_ “I honestly think it suits you.” _

“Flattery is not an effective strategy to clean your conscience.”

_ “Come on, I’ll take you out for drinks once this is over. My treat.” _ Shuuichi knew she rarely meant that promise, as she presented an instinct to socialize inching towards negative numbers, but oddly enough, she knew of the best places in town to get shitfaced. It ought to make a detective wonder - he had become an expert despite himself.  _ “You may want to stop talking to me unless there’s some emergency.” _

Shuuichi did a 180° turn on the bar stool, checking his surroundings with the pretense of brushing his hair back. “It’s alright. No one’s paid attention to me all night.”

_ “It’s going... smoothly, isn’t it.” _

Having years of coordinated partnership in the police force behind their back wasn’t needed to understand the underlying message. All Shuuichi had to do was balancing adequately on his heels and grabbing drinks from the counter once in a while to keep his hands busy, and give the impression he was having fun. It was going almost too smoothly. 

_ “Have you identified the other undercover agent yet?” _

The agent in question, whose presence was expected at this sort of gathering, was nowhere to be seen. Shuuichi had no clue of who that could be among the guests or about his exact appearance, not to mention his whereabouts, and at the moment, communication was impossible. The only thing he could hope for was that the other had enough information to locate him correctly, discreetly, and possibly before Shuuichi decided to call it a day.

“I can look around the ship one more time.”

_ “Nah. He’ll show up. Stay on that deck.” _ Maki said, her signal flickering off for a fraction of second that allowed Shuuichi to assume she was meddling with her computer. 

Shuuichi left the last of his pina colada on the counter of the outdoor bar, his thoughts reeling to find a proper course of action that would not require him to sit on his ass on a luxurious ship owned by a criminal boss and taste cocktails on said criminal’s bill. The obscenely strong flavor had a fruity note to it and a fluid consistency on Shuuichi’s tongue, as if he had received a long, intoxicating kiss, the taste of forbidden, of something out of his control that he would regret once back from the fairytale world. He pushed the glass away at last.

Just as the detective was starting to collect his resolve to move on to a group of guests close by, the unforeseeable happened.

The door to the inner part of the deck was pushed open by a man in his twenties. The sleeves of his pristine white shirt were quickly rolled up his elbows and he only carried his suit jacket thrown over his left arm in a way that suggested he hadn’t had time to properly put it on. Shuuichi noticed it was an odd color indeed - he had never seen a purple suit jacket with a cosmic pattern on the inside and each lapel -, flashy and definitely unsuitable to someone undercover, or to anyone who intended to make a serious impression for that matter. The jacket didn’t seem wrinkled, quite the opposite: freshly ironed and as spotless as they came out of the shop, although, to be fair, that gave Shuuichi one more reason to doubt the taste of any man of sound mind who would purchase such item. 

_ And one more reason to keep your eyes on him _ , his mind helpfully supplied.

Looking at him led to two additional conclusions: his shoes had polished tips to the point of reflecting the blue neon light that landed on them and clearly costed an arm and a leg. A standard-sized tie was thrown over the man’s shoulder, an apparently insignificant detail except for the fact that it felt mismatched. The rest of the outfit was just as weird as that jacket of his, but the tie jarred in comparison as the solitary trait of good taste it was. No weird pattern, no disagreeable colour, nothing like that. Not that Shuuichi considered himself a fashionable person, which made him sitting on the edge of his stool from shock all the more strange. 

The man’s eyes fell on him after hurriedly searching the deck packed with people, either bathing in the pool or associating each with their circle of acquaintances of choice. 

Shuuichi couldn’t be sure if he had been noticed because he simply stood out as the lone bystander - if so, he willed himself to come up with an expedient on the spot - or for some more meaningful, incriminating reason that he couldn’t grasp yet. 

The man made his way to the bar - to Shuuichi. 

The people by the swimming pool made a deafening noise, some of them looked like college students whose daddies were paying for this shallow entertainment, but even their racket didn’t hold the comparison with Shuuichi’s almost frightening heart rate.

After a more or less excruciating countdown for him to reach his spot, the man, ignoring the odd stares sent his way by a handful of guests, leaned on the counter with his entire body. Wide shoulders tense, eyebrows set in a straight line. On his cheekbone there was a superficial scratch. Too many good excuses to observe him like he was something far more interesting than he pretended to be.

He ordered a beer. 

Shuuichi did not dare to make a sound as it was delivered to him, the frosting on the bottle’s exterior condensing into dripping water when the oddly clothed man touched it with his fingers all too soon. He was silent not because he felt thrown off by his attitude, Shuuichi was by nature rather the curious one, even for his area of expertise. By extension, he enjoyed formulating, orchestrating the truth rather than hearing it. He hated nothing as much as he deplored hunting down the object of his musings. 

Satisfied with Shuuichi’s attention, the stranger finally opened his mouth to say something. “Note to self: next time you’re set up for a blind date on a boat, make sure you don’t run into the owner of said boat. You wouldn’t believe how talkative boat owners are. Especially when they notice you don’t give a shit about their boat.” 

Shuuichi was no good at lying, but then, feigning naive disinterest couldn’t exactly be considered lying. So he chuckled. “If that’s so, you should hurry and find your date. No one enjoys to be left waiting.”

That is, until a paper tissue was showed to him, which read the signal word he had agreed on with the Department. He instinctively felt like apologizing when his bare shoulders relaxed an inch. 

“Sorry for wasting your time”, the man added, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “you must be thinking I’m  _ really _ bad at my job.”

“It’s fine”, Shuuichi said gently. His gaze ran over the other’s figure one more time. “You must have been caught up in some trouble.”

A tense look set over the infiltrator’s face. “Yeah, well. Look, there is very little I can’t handle, but… Some people found out I had to meet up with a detective on board, somehow, and I had to deal with that first. But don’t worry about them!” He added when he noticed the distress he had caused to Shuuichi with that alarming admission, his whole body wide and honest and still somewhat affected by the rush. “Please, don’t worry. Have a little faith in me.”

“You do realize it’s hard to place your trust in a situation like this”, Shuuichi relented.

“A sharp one, aren’t you.”

Shuuichi shrugged one shoulder. “I wouldn’t say I have many other things going for me. Shall we get started?”

 

+++

 

“I was looking forward to this date, y’know. We should act more like the part.” Kaito said to him over a glass of champagne that didn’t taste anything like the alcohol Shuuichi was accustomed to, but it made for a nice discovery, overall, to observe that Kaito didn’t fit in with their surroundings any more than he did. He stood out in the crowd for his height and, with his fingers constantly tapping on the champagne (he had not gone further than one sip at a time), Shuuichi was starting to wonder if he detested it. In case Shuuichi’s assumption was right, Kaito still swept his embarrassment under that bright smile of his and moved around the room like he belonged there. He certainly wasn’t one to second-guess himself.

And even had Shuuichi been given options other than following him, he found it was instinctual to fall into step by Kaito’s side; it was ridiculous to think he had found the safest spot on the whole ship, but it felt much better to have a partner to share the job with.

“Yeah, I guess it… makes sense as a cover.” Shuuichi shifted onto his feet, part of him hardly believing his own words.

“Makes sense as...? No, no, I mean… social boundaries seem to be bothering you a lot. Don’t be afraid to lean on me or to be more physical. That’s how we should go about this for me, is all. Alright?”

“To be honest, I had no idea how to go about this”, Shuuichi motioned, quite gracelessly, between their chests, “since the start.”

Kaito scratched his nape, muffling a laugh. For all his boasting and strength of character, when he laughed, he looked ridiculously tame, and almost strangely… human. “Seriously? That’s bad for a detective.”

“I’m sorry… Didn’t really plan that far ahead.”   


“Okay, we’ve been awkward until now. Time to act like trained police officers. Say, wanna be the sidekick?”

“What do you mean,  _ “the sidekick” _ ?”

Kaito looked at him like he didn’t see absolutely anything weird in what he had said, while Shuuichi struggled to comprehend how Kaito was a real person who stood in front of him and was tasked to carry out an investigation in a dangerous place such as a criminal organization’s ship and not a comic book character. Kaito’s hand went up to brush his hair in what Shuuichi had learned to identify as a frustrated involuntary gesture. “It’s obvious, you’ve never seen a police drama? Come on, man.”

“What do police dramas have to do with this?”    


“One partner is always the main protagonist, then there’s a sidekick. The protagonist takes the spotlight and fights the bad guys, the sidekick does the rest. This is the ABC.”   
When it sank in, Shuuichi did his best not to seem blatantly endeared, as he thought that Kaito wouldn’t have taken it as a reassuring response. “... I got it.”

“Then just leave the talking to me, or whatever you don’t feel too sure about”, Kaito concluded, fighting the smile that risked to breach his earnest masquerade. “I’ve basically been improvising since I set foot on this ship!”

“Yeah. I mean, Kaito…” The detective smoothed out the wrinkles that pooled at the waist of his dark evening dress. He smirked, “Thank you for taking charge from here.”

Kaito positioned a supportive hand on his shoulder, prodding him on, igniting in Shuuichi a deeper, genuine kind of understanding of how truly unpretentious his desire to help was. Indeed, that imperishable faith in people always put Shuuichi in a vulnerable place despite himself, and yet he had never felt any need to change this about himself, trustful and confident in his ability as a judge of character. Perhaps he started out from a logical fallacy, thinking that Kaito was a unique individual in the world, but it was a misconception he treasured and clung onto, for dear life. 

It turned out that Kaito was an excellent working partner as long as they did not delve exaggeratedly into the details of the bond between them; it worked to their favor the fact that, according to their story, the relationship was still new and tentative. Kaito played the charm card with no reservations and as far as Shuuichi was concerned, which came as no surprise after knowing Kaito for thirty minutes, there was no trick behind it. He was intense, and Shuuichi felt like a satellite, fully nestled in its orbit. 

It was possibly in order to counterbalance Kaito’s devoted performance, or maybe for Shuuichi’s genetic inclination to seek as much evidence as he needed, but they quickly settled into an efficiently polarized couple dynamic.

It was quite amusing.

Especially amusing was the reveal that Kaito handled himself better in a conversation about Russian politics and culture than on any dancefloor, after which Shuuichi definitively abandoned the idea of blending in with the licentious crowd of dancing bodies. The issue, though, was not particularly Kaito being inept - he would describe it more as a  _ mediocre _ sort of dancing, which his partner accepted with only mild complaining -, or the intimate closeness they had to maintain to prevent the flow of people from separating them. None of that: there was, see, an unspoken agreement between them since the moment Kaito had made him his promise to get a hold of the mission. Dancing together felt like breaking the rules.

In other words, Shuuichi couldn’t remember the last time he had enjoyed himself so much.

A lively laugh fell off Kaito’s lips when Shuuichi started fanning his own face, thin locks of black hair were sticking to the sides of his neck and his expression had grown drowsy throughout the night. The more time passed, the higher the temperature on the ship climbed and the more bothersome the wig became. 

“Hey, you already burnt out?”

Shuuichi came to his senses and straightened his spine. “Don’t joke around... I could do this all night.”

“You sure?” It was Kaito’s turn to look genuinely amused by the other’s stamina. “I can’t have my sidekick pass out on the floor. Guess it can’t be helped.” He pointed at the entrance door of the dance hall with his thumb. “C’mon, we’re done for tonight.”   


“Wh-What are you talking about? We haven’t checked half the people in here-”

“They probably can't tell us more than we know already. We should lay low for now, okay?” 

Shuuichi shook his head. “That’s probably true, but…” 

“There are many free guest rooms to use how you like.”

Kaito must not have realized how the underlying meaning of the sentence immediately affected Shuuichi’s common sense, or what little obfuscated part of it remained.

The detective let his hair slide down to hide his burning cheeks. If they hadn't before, his thoughts had gone way beyond appropriate social boundaries now.

Kaito, oblivious, prodded on. “I’ll keep watch if you want me to, so you can sleep with no worries. We’ll probably reach the coast by dawn.” He gave Shuuichi a big thumbs-up.

Shuuichi did not trust himself to answer him.

The problem was, he didn’t have enough evidence to piece together an accurate assessment of the current situation, and as much as he hated to admit it, he had not noticed any sign of irregular activity on the ship - exception made for suspicious quantities of pearl-white powder on some of the tables where the guests kept themselves entertained. But then again, he had thought the trafficking of counterfeit IDs with the Chinese border must happen on the ship itself, where members of the  _ elite _ could negotiate and carry the transactions in all tranquility. Both factions were aware that it was conveniently quick to get rid of the evidence. If they noticed their affairs were being observed, it was sufficient to throw all of them off the ship, and no detective would ever find it, unless they had the ability to hold their breath for several minutes and swim very fast - a gift detectives weren’t normally bestowed upon. That and other reasons forced Shuuichi to acknowledge Kaito’s point, that he was tired and he would surely betray himself at some point, but the unsettling feeling in his gut wouldn’t vanish no matter what.

“Is something the matter?”

The detective brushed his hair away from his eyes and, for it must have become a reflex after years of tireless dedication to his field, looked closely, particularly taken aback by the care and gentleness his partner was openly showing him. He was expecting the question, and the concerned tone of it, though maybe he didn’t know how exactly he had the contents of Kaito’s character figured out so soon. “Yeah. My feet hurt like Hell.”

“Ah, those things are a hassle.” Kaito looked down with aggravation at the heeled shoes on Shuuichi’s feet. “If you’re not used to them, just take them off. Women are always making their own life harder than it has to be.”

“Except when they don't”, Shuuichi pointed out under his breath, for Maki alone to hear.

“I see you’ve made the mistake of telling a lady the harsh truth about her fanciful whims. You’re lucky if she has forgiven you by the end of the night. Typical among beginners, don’t fret.” Shuuichi whole body stilled for a moment when another man - one who appeared to have joined them while they were talking-, joined their conversation, a pleasant smile making the corners of his eyes crinkle. His gray hair stuck to the sides of his head like needles. There was no malice in his words. His attention was for Shuuichi alone. “I do not think we have been introduced yet, darling.”

“Really? My bad, sir. She’s Sonia Nevermind, Heiress of Novoselic Corps”, Kaito spoke confidently, none of the earlier amusement left in his expression. He settled for putting his hands in his pockets after indicating the old man with a gesture. “Sonia, dear, this gentleman here is the owner of the ship. The one I mentioned earlier. You know, I told you about the huge… The...” There was no doubt that Kaito had forgotten absolutely everything about boats in the meanwhile. 

Shuuichi decided it was his call. “Oh, I do remember. This is truly a wonderful model, I’m pleased to meet...” He held his hand out to the gray-haired man, but it was unpredictably seized by none other than the smaller boy who had materialized next to him. He didn’t look like he could be older than eighteen, big smile, clean rows of teeth, but it was painfully evident that his insincerity was intentional. “... you?”

He wore a plain white suit, with six red buttons on the front, a black cardigan underneath and white shoes with red strings. This last piece of information made discomfort climb up in Shuuichi’s throat, only heightened when Ouma Kokichi shook his hand. The most insidious and ridiculously young criminal boss operating in Tokyo.

“Hey guys, you’re enjoying the evening I hope? Whoops. It doesn’t look like it by your faces! Man, that totally sucks. I get depressed when people don’t appreciate my efforts.” 

“N-No, you got the wrong impression.”

Kokichi shrugged. “Did I? What a relief. Thanks, Sonia. You’re just as pretty as they told me you’d be.”

Shuuichi hesitated, but recoiled quickly. “Just as they told you?”   
“Yeah, my minions. They’ve been watching you aaaaall night long. Creeped out yet?” Noticing the visible way Shuuichi’s face had blanched, he snickered behind his hand. “Don’t sweat it, I’m kidding. But seriously, you think I don’t know who’s coming to my  _ birthday party _ ?”

“This is not your birthday party though”, Shuuichi noted. 

“I’m not talking about tonight, obviously! Well, whatever. Nice observation skills you have there”, Kokichi exclaimed. “How sweet, Kaito. Don’t they say opposites attract? She’s cute, she’s bright, she’s got nice hair, you found your match!”

Now, in addition to all the files the detective had spent hours drilling into his own head about Ouma Kokichi, he also knew the young boss had a saccharine smile and that he didn’t need anything but a razor-blade tongue to attract the attention to his lithe, white-clad figure. His bizarre fashion choices were simply a personal quirk. 

“Isn’t it too soon to tell?” Kaito retorted, obviously trying not to snap.

“Maybe”, Shuuichi said gently, the hand hanging by his side sneaking around Kaito’s arm, “We have all the time in the world to find out, don’t we  _ honey _ ?”

“I knew I was spot-on about you, Sonia-chan! Kaito here can be shy, isn’t that just  _ so _ lame. You’re better off without him. Remember this later.”

“Sonia was telling me she’s very tired”, Kaito interjected. He gave Shuuichi’s hand a quick squeeze, feeling for a reaction. Shuuichi remembered their previous conversation and leaned into Kaito’s shoulder, nodding. “Do you have a room she can rest in?”

“You can bet your dumb personality on that.” Kokichi winked. He directed them towards the main corridor on the lower deck, send them off without a struggle. 

He was definitely odd, but Shuuichi wouldn’t fool himself into thinking he wasn’t walking on eggshells as long as he stayed on board. The compliment about his hair had done it. 

 

+++

 

The slight tilt of the floor was more remarkable now.

The sounds from upstairs followed Shuuichi’s steps to one of the many suites the ship was provided of. When he peeked inside, all he saw was an assortment of out-moded, mawkish furniture, all arranged in a kitsch fashion that almost appeared intentional. Though rather than criticizing the interior, Shuuichi’s eyes lingered on the large bed in the plain centre of the room.

“Are all the rooms like this one?”

“I didn’t exactly have the time to check them all.”

After a beat of silence, Shuuichi decided to walk in. His partner softly closed the door behind them. “Of course. I imagine Ouma directed us to this one on purpose. Quite childish of him.”

Kaito’s expression went weird for a second, somewhat more attentive, head slightly turned as if he had been making to leave. “Hm? Why would he do that?”

“He… I just thought... Nevermind that.” The detective averted his eyes a moment too late, which didn’t slide. The plan wasn’t going smoothly at all.

Kaito’s eyebrows arched. He showed, willingly or not, a painfully timid smile as he leaned back against the doorframe. “Ah, I get why you’d think he’s childish. I can’t even stand him for five minutes. Too witty, I can’t keep up.”

“Criminals like him are... something else.” Shuuichi laughed. “The real challenge is figuring out whether they’re one step ahead of you. I think they often are.”

“Yeah, fair point. But hey! You stand before the very best in my Department. Nothing’s impossible for me!”, Kaito bragged, shrugging. Then he quickly added, “And for my sidekick, by extension.”

“Oh, then I can sleep easy.” Suddenly, Shuuichi heard a gurgling sound from his earpiece. It took him a moment to understand it was not the effect of an interference; Maki kept faux-vomiting into his ear. 

_ “Oh, sorry, don’t mind me. That one attempt was just particularly revolting. Have you ever flirted before, Sherlock?” _

Kaito was staring right into his eyes with a raised eyebrow, as if he could hear her words, but his smile was endearingly unaware. “... That’s the spirit. So, goodnight,  _ honey _ .”

“Sorry, Kaito, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” Shuuichi didn’t want to let what they had started drop there, it didn’t sit well with him. 

His uncle was always speaking of how emotionally driven he was, excessively so, for a detective whose goal was to reach the truth, and his logistical approach had always prevented him from considering it any more than the most direct path to failure; Shuuichi never had the heart to correct him, but that was what made him different from his family. Interpretation. 

“Okay, shoot!”

“It’s about… Well, the date, you know.”

“The date. What about it?”

“It was nice, right? I mean, I know it’s our disguise and all, but except that, wasn’t it really fun?”

“Man, I don’t know what you’ve been drinking, but if  _ that  _ was nice by your standards a real date with me would totally blow your mind. I’ve been out of shape.”

“Is that a honest answer?”

“Do I look like Ouma Kokichi to you?”

Shuuichi let out the breath he had been holding. “Then it wasn’t just me who felt that way. I’d really enjoy hanging out with you, if… if the circumstances were different.”

“And everyone around us wasn’t getting stoned to death. Yeah.” Kaito was in thought, one hand scratching his nape. That small, timid smile from before pulling at the corners of his mouth, again. “Actually, that wouldn’t be half-bad. I need to get back into shape, don’t I?”

Instead of snapping back to reality, Shuuichi slowly got more and more aware of their positions - Kaito, as carefree as ever, hadn’t strayed away from the door - and he hadn’t made one single step closer to Kaito himself, held back by an oppressive desire that turned his muscles into marble. His head still felt heavy, but clearer. So the best thing to do was probably nod in agreement. 

Then he took off his shoes, walked up to a chair, placed one foot on it. Centered himself.

He deliberately kept his eyes set on his slim, selfish fingers as he undid the clasp of his garter. It made a deafening sound. Hanging from it, a 9mm that fit just right in its gun-holder. He had never fired a 9mm against a person of flesh and bones; the only reason he had trained with it being that it needed to be small enough to be easily covered by the cut of the dress on the side of his right thigh. Kaede’s favorite, wasn’t it? The unremarkable scar on his back had also been carved by a gun of the same caliber, going by what he’d been told.

Shuuichi left the 9mm on the chair and moved on to his hip, where he kept the electroshock Miu had thrusted into his hands with the claim of it being her newest investment. This time, a silk belt had been necessary to disguise it. 

He no longer wore any protection.

Warm hands set themselves on the slump of his shoulders, making a shiver run down his defenseless body, and reached his toes, which curled into the carpet. 

“Woah, you got quite a bit of tension bundled up here.” It was Kaito’s voice, as candid as ever, but at the same time, it wasn’t. By not facing each other, conversely, Shuuichi was able to comprehend much more than he thought he would; the underlying uncertainty, the anchored gravity Kaito gave to every moment, the deep connection between his mouth and his heart. It was all there, carefully folded in his words, but not out of reach, never out of reach. Shuuichi felt like he was everywhere; he was behind his shoulders, in the most intimate parts of his consciousness, he was beneath his skin, her was the vice-like knot in his stomach. 

“It’s okay to unwind a bit. It’s almost over”, Kaito said. And again, it was not exactly his voice that Shuuichi heard. There was more. All he needed to do was extend his hand. Kaito’s rough breath collided with his nape when the man laughed. “I’m gonna protect you now, whatever happens. That’s a protagonist’s job,” a self-ironical chuckle. “Don’t you agree?”

“It’s not like I have any choice but to trust you”, Shuuichi replied.   


“I mean, that’s what logic implies, but trust goes a little deeper than that”, Kaito slowly traced his collarbones. Shuuichi’s pulse was reverberating like the blows of thunder on a glass window. The soothing pressure of Kaito’s lithe fingers made his breath stutter, his skin tingle. It was hard not to let the mind wander, but despite this, Shuuichi knew he wasn’t ready to yield all of himself to faith just yet.

“Teach it to me.” Shuuichi tilted his head to the left.

Kaito’s hands had now reached down to his elbows. The urge to escape them didn’t come. Neither did the one to turn around into their delicate hold. It seemed as if Kaito wanted to avoid rejection by playing it safe, and his gestures always let the truth slip right through. “Do you know how to work a real gun?” He asked.

Shuuichi decided to push his stupor into a corner of his mind, thinking about the appropriate answer. “At first I wasn’t any good. I don’t handle weapons with ease, if that’s what you want to know. Then again, they’re necessary sometimes, aren’t they?”

“I could probably teach you that better.”

Shuuichi made sure to infer austerity in his gaze when he finally faced his partner, whose hands flew by his sides as if the detective had used electroshock on him. He drew in his lips. “Shooting doesn’t interest me nearly as much as...”

“As?”

“As you.” A scalding-hot, vivid blush creeped up his cheeks, no matter how proudly he fought it. 

Kaito was searching for the right words, but the only one that came up was exactly what the detective hadn’t told him. “Sonia…”

“I’m sorry”, he breathed out, one hand sliding up Kaito’s wide chest to fiddle with the top button. “When this is over, when I won’t need a fake identity anymore… I’ll tell you my name.”

“You’re enjoying watching me suffer”, Kaito provoked him. The hold on Shuuichi’s waist grew possessive. Like Shuuichi was something infinitely precious and desirable, Kaito had the lidded gaze of a man in prayer.

“And you’re not any different”, Shuuichi noted, “but I do find you especially… c-cute when you’re struggling around me, instead of the other way around.”

Kaito couldn’t even conceal the fact that he was totally wrapped around his finger. “You’re crazy”, was all he mustered out before Shuuichi’s lips pushed against his with fervor. 

If the kiss hadn’t been anticipated, Shuuichi would have probably made a fool of himself. 

The air freezed in a mere second in his lungs as the rush overtook their bodies and any pretense of decorum was thrown out of the window, hands reaching to grab, test, explore and impatiently possess inch after inch of each other. Nothing had ever felt as good than the liquid kisses they shared, breath barely passing between them as if it was an issue of little concern, even the bites that coated their mouths with spit made an unbearable desire pool in Shuuichi’s gut.

They let the kisses speak for them, advocate for their need. Shuuichi could have gone insane with that alone. 

It was Kaito’s touch on other, lower parts that kept him anchored to reality, even though he was not even remotely as daring with the rest of Shuuichi’s body. Kaito’s warm lips seemed to want to devour him from the inside out. “O-One thing we have in common”, the detective heaved, enlacing his arms behind Kaito’s neck, then resumed from where he had left off, his chest moving along to the hungry kisses.

He knew there was a number of things he should have reined in, but he had forgotten about everything except the perfect alignment of hands and chests and lips and eyes that kindled the fire in his heart.

When Kaito took his cheek into his hand, Shuuichi’s breath caught in his lungs at the cold feeling and he tilted his head, leaving his neck open. Kaito passed his thumb over the jugular vein, his expression grave, so  _ devoted _ Shuuichi got the impression that he would be getting on his knees at a moment’s notice.

“The earpiece”, Shuuichi murmured into the hot cavern of his mouth. Kaito’s other thumb was stroking circular patterns into his thigh, which made holding in his moans constantly painful. “...O-Off.”

In response, Kaito sealed his lips with another intense kiss, playing it off as a futile game of control. Kaito paid attention to Shuuichi’s gleaming eyes in the process. Shuuichi’s wig slipped off his head without pain and fell to the floor, finally letting him breath a sigh of relief. 

“You are still…” Another harmless bite to his tongue, “still so  _ beautiful _ .”

“Y-You’re one to talk…” Shuuichi’s arched eyelashes fluttered once Kaito started sucking on the sliver of skin below the hem of the dress, his flat chest barely visible, whereas Shirogane would have liked him to wear a bra to complete the outfit. After giving a glance to the piece of clothing (made more of lace than cloth), he had found it needlessly eccentric of her and discarded the idea. She had given him a glare, but didn't protest.

Kaito’s forehead glistened with sweat, as if he was making an extraordinary effort in holding back. He was carding his fingers through Shuuichi’s real hair, as dark as the midnight sky, his long locks sliding through while he let them go. His eyes looked like they were witnessing the most beautiful of miracles. Nothing else but sheer sincerity.

Shuuichi’s mouth pressed a kiss into the crown of his head. “Thank you.”

The mattress felt like a welcoming nest when he fall back onto it, ass first, Kaito’s steady arms guiding him as he lied down. His hands placed on the soft curve of thick, tanned biceps. Kaito kneeled, making the bed dip under him in the places he leant on. Shuuichi instinctively opened his legs further apart, to allow him more space. 

It was not remarkably soft, either, and this put Shuuichi at ease, since he was used to sleeping on the Department’s leather couch when needed; the habit had set in as the months went by after Kaede’s departure, and never really left. Perhaps Shuuichi had never cared. Sometimes, he still slept in the office - it was usually Kiibo who woke him in the morning. 

Kaito gave the fabric of his dress a deliberate squeeze, which Shuuichi promptly seized as an excuse to climb out of it. His feet then kicked away the neglected bundle of fine cloth like it had offended him, and that was somewhat true. Once discarded, it ended up at the feet of the bed, pointless at last, unable to build even more unwanted distance between his lover and him.

The dragging sounds of hot skin against bed sheets got drowned out by his galloping heartbeat. He was close to convincing himself that Kaito could hear it. 

Kaito shrugged off that whimsical jacket and folded it to function as a support for Shuuichi’s head, who was pushing his underwear down his dainty legs, as pale as the moon, in stark contrast with the clothed figure between them. Only then he realized how impatient and hasty his moves were and he flushed, suddenly aware of the stiffness in Kaito’s jaw. 

“Kaito?” He made to reach out to the man, but stopped himself in mid-air, asking with apprehension, “Is there something wrong? Did I...”

The other passed his tongue once over his lips, still glossy from Shuuichi’s ministrations. He looked him in the eye, serious, or rather  _ nervous _ , though he would never admit it. “Did you… No. No, I’m fine- You are breathtaking. I’ve never seen anything so  _ perfect _ … neither on earth, nor at sea.”

Shuuichi averted his gaze and rested his head on the jacket, but in the heat of the moment, his usual logical pattern of thought didn’t seem to be of any help. “Do you think I’m beautiful?” 

The shuffling of fabric, and feather-light lips on his inner thigh. They nipped at the sensitive flesh as if tasting an aperitif, Kaito’s lust perceivable but hardly leaving temporary marks on it - he could even slide a few inches up, painfully close to Shuuichi’s crotch, and there… Once there, he sank his  _ teeth _ into Shuuichi. Enough to make the other squirm and a cry rise in his throat. “You are.  _ Fuck _ , I feel like- I’d do anything if you asked me right now. Literally... anything. I never intended to become this ridiculous clichè of a hero, it’s all your fault.”

Shuuichi smiled, though he wondered what it would take to make Kaito shut up. “Fuck me.”

“What?”

“Please,  _ please _ fuck me”, Shuuichi screwed his eyes shut and took a shaky breath. “I’m... I’m yours, Kaito, all yours, and if you don’t fuck me right this instant I think I’m going to feel sick...”

He bit his lip hard, but nothing was to be done to calm down his breathing.

Kaito’s jaw went even tighter, and he took off his black tie and shirt abruptly, with an impatience rivaling Shuuichi’s own, never breaking eye contact with him. It was a bit more complicated to do so with his undershirt, but once that was out of the way Shuuichi could get an eyeful of the toned body that loomed over his for the first time. His gaze nailed itself to the statuesque abdomen that shifted underneath his skin when he pressed into Shuuichi’s pelvis.

Touching like this killed that one last ounce of common sense. The skin on skin contact was electric, whether because Shuuichi went directly for Kaito’s throat, much like a viper, or because their bodies overlapping made it clear that Shuuichi could hold onto Kaito with all his weight and the other wouldn’t have so much as flinched.

“D-Do you have anything with you?” It obviously wasn’t Kaito’s intent to stutter. He drew his eyebrows together and cleared his throat. 

“No… Check in the drawer.”

Kaito’s search was successful, just as predicted. He coated his hands in as much lube as he deemed safe while Shuuichi giggled to defuse the loaded atmosphere. “We won’t comment on this.”   
“Yessir.” Kaito’s teeth were back to nip at his tender thighs, but Shuuichi felt the shape of a smile.

A subtle sigh fell off his unguarded lips. A digit was circling his entrance, repeating the same motions a few times to allow it to warm up gradually to the unfamiliar touch. Shuuichi bit his tongue in an attempt to focus on relaxing his legs, which he only managed to do halfway. Kaito’s hips were squeezed between Shuuichi’s knees, though he didn’t seem to mind that.

The rim of muscle gave in to his finger  _ almost _ spontaneously, a little push allowed it to slip in. Shuuichi was maddeningly aware every single inch. 

“You’re doing so good, baby.” Hearing it in Kaito’s voice, close to a whisper, made Shuuichi’s breath hitch. 

“Go… deeper,” he was already panting. It usually took a little more than an external object up his ass to turn him on _ to this extent _ . 

His partner shook his head. One finger became two, which stroked his insides with a meek pace to make sure Shuuichi’s body accepted them. “I’m not going to hurt you. I promise baby. Please, don’t allow me to.” 

_ So close, so close to that spot. Not enough.  _ The preparation was the most careful and thorough than Shuuichi had experienced in a long time, to the point that it made him wonder if that was Kaito’s first time with a man; he didn’t ask, but he considered the option with a touch of pride. The sentimentality of it drew more blood to his cheeks.

Taking a decision, he grabbed Kaito’s wrist. “I thought my request was clear enough.”

He didn’t know what Kaito exactly saw in his eyes that made his face tense up. “As I said, I just don’t want it to hurt…”

This time Shuuichi glared. “Your pants. Off.” The fact that his partner complied without a second thought made his chest swell with a tingly sensation. He couldn’t help but want more. “You were told to  _ fuck _ me, so I expect you to do just that. Use my body to please yourself. I want you to watch me closely, and make every inch of me yours so I  _ remember it _ .”

He took advantage of the adrenaline high to muster up all that courage. It felt like a fever was flowing in his veins, scraping  at his composure from the inside. His irises gleamed just like a sick person’s would; but Shuuichi was nowhere near sick. He could never get sick of this. 

“Trust me, I can handle everything you’ll give me.” Maybe he didn’t think that one through.

Instead of giving a reply, Kaito crushed their lips together, and this time it was all tongues and spit and overwhelming passion. Loud pops and sighs and moans mingling into the air they took away from each other’s lungs. 

Kaito’s cock was completely erect. He had taken the time to coat it with lube, but he gave it a few pumps while he kissed Shuuichi, hungry for the pleasure promised to him like a faithful man was drawn to paradise.

Their obscene sounds and Kaito’s fingers touching his entrance again, smearing the remaining lube all over his rim, had Shuuichi’s head feeling dizzy. 

“Inside… I want you inside me”, he heard himself beg, but it was distant. He belatedly realized he was gripping Kaito’s hair desperately… and then nothing. 

It made a squelching sound the first time. The lube was thick and the friction didn’t even feel painful. A cold drop trickled between Shuuichi’s cheeks, and that was what forced him to snap back to reality, so suddenly he breathed in sharply from the unanticipated pressure in his lower stomach. His back had arched up from the bed, the entire length of his body felt impaled onto Kaito’s cock. 

Its girth wasn’t even comparable to the fingers from before, and the pleasure… Nothing else was comparable to such pleasure.

“Are you doin’ alright?” Kaito asked, scarcely recollecting his communication skills.

Shuuichi tried to take deep breaths. “I’m… Yes…”

Kaito’s hand cupped one of his plump cheeks and caressed in an apparent soothing motion, but it only gave Shuuichi trouble slowing down his heartbeat.

“A-Ah, yes…” The detective moaned. Thankfully, the other recognized it for what it was. Kaito pulled him slightly closer to himself, enticing another slew of whimpers of approval from the other. 

He grabbed Shuuichi’s hips and pushed into him before drawing back, setting a slacken pace which gained him long, faint moans. It was infuriating. 

Shuuichi grit his teeth, then hooked his ankles behind Kaito’s back. He took his partner’s pulse point in his mouth, sucking harshly on his hot skin until he could feel the powerful pulsations on his tongue, in synch with his own. 

Whatever he was doing, mouth half unhinged and too loose to proper focus on one particular spot, it seemed to work a miracle because Kaito’s hips stuttered and his thrusts grew deep, erratic. In response, Shuuichi moved up to his jawline. 

Thrust came after thrust, the detective found Kaito’s mouth and made an attempt at kissing it, but all that came out of it were wanton licks and disastrous pecks all over it.

Their slick bodies slid into each other perfectly, Kaito’s cock filling him up so intimately he had no way of moving without  _ feeling  _ it, deep inside, and how hot and large his lover was for him.

Kaito pulled away suddenly, throwing Shuuichi’s legs over his wide shoulders. Shuuichi seized the opportunity to pull the man even closer, joining his calves.

A raw cry tore itself from his throat. His wide eyes saw nothing but a blurred ceiling. 

“ _ There! _ P-Please! Fuck me there, Kaito… Oh, oh  _ fuck, yes _ …”

“I’m here, babe.” Kaito grunted into his pale neck. His jaw was slack and he was hardly breathing, but he gripped the headboard above Shuuichi’s head so harshly it rattled with every thrust forward. “Hold onto me, i-if you need. I’m here.” 

He needn’t say that, because Shuuichi’s small nails were digging into the planes of his back. The very concept of having Kaito  _ inside _ felt unbelievable, even in their current position. Kaito’s scent was all around him, kind and implacable, free like a natural phenomenon man can’t control. Just like a natural phenomenon, he would leave him stranded and  _ wretched _ \-  _ his nails left bloody, angry scratches  _ \- and, because one of them was capable of weakness and Shuuichi was more than aware of this, thoroughly convinced that there was no helping it. 

Kaito’s rhythm was like a wave crashing on the shoreline and washing everything away.

It was merciless, and still there was an overpowering gentleness in his touch that Shuuichi recognized as pure and sincere. A sweeter despair simply didn’t exist, or he was not stupid enough to look for it.

Kaito came first, and he did with adoration in his eyes, like a martyr receiving a flagging for professing his faith. He was sweaty, which Shuuichi would have found a bit disgusting if he was anyone but Kaito, but the wet smears and smell it left on his skin did not bother him. His come dripped out of Shuuichi’s ass and made a mess of the expensive sheets.

Shuuichi came second, and he did looking up, beyond his lover, beyond the flood that tore him to pieces. They always, always left you a bit less whole than they found you. He would soon leave Shuuichi at the mercy of the a smothering kindness, his body a raw wound that will slowly cauterize, if at all, because that’s how it went with individuals like Kaito; they were special, so you let them go.

They flopped down onto the bed together, in a state that would resemble a lifeless mannequin if their breaths didn’t still come out rugged and their pupils weren’t blown like a cocaine addict’s.

Kaito recovered fast, and had the bad taste of using his undershirt to clean up Shuuichi’s stomach and between his legs. Except his patience ran out pretty quick.

“Should you… take a shower?” Kaito suggested. 

Shuuichi averted his eyes, but he acknowledged that the offer was a smart one. “Maybe.”

The way Kaito felt would be clear even to anyone with no experience as a detective. Shuuichi did his best not to stumble on his way to the bathroom, but just as he grabbed the door handle he heard the question he was fearing: “...Is that it?”

_ Yes _ , sounded so cold as an answer. Shuuichi had never had a way with words and harsh rejections, as, once upon a time, Kaede did. “It won’t take too long.”   
He was a goddamn fool. At least Kaito wasn’t one to pretend that was not the case. 

“That’s alright, we can talk later. At least I’d like to know what the problem is… Believe me, it’s okay to speak with your gut, but do it now.” The man’s gaze was steady, too honest, and all too unfazed by what had probably been the strangest fuck of Shuuichi’s life. Then again, he didn’t know a flying shit about Kaito’s sex life. “I don’t think that’s the best way to go about this…”

“Don’t fuck around with me, Detective. I’m not gonna eat that up as an answer.”

Shuuichi’s grip on the handle tightened. “Kaito… You shouldn’t expect from me what you can’t give me in the first place. We were both _perfectly_ aware of that.”  
“This has nothing to do with who we are for other people. We just _had_ _sex_ , for fuck’s sake.” Kaito was pointing at the bed as if it was concrete proof that God existed but his shoulders... just looking at them, it felt heavy. Honesty weighted on him more than lies. “Maybe you’re the kind of guy who doesn’t really mind screwing while on the job, but that meant something to _me_.”

“What did you just...” Shuuichi all but sputtered in disbelief. His shoulders went taut and all his previous trains of thought, to make him slip out of this conversation diplomatically, scattered. His mind only felt blank for a whole minute. He shrugged off Kaito’s half-hearted endeavors of fixing his mistake, not even concerned with listening properly. He knew all too well what he would find by digging under Kaito’s skin, and that was a step that required enough intimacy to make him feel like a noose was slowly sinking into his throat, tighter and tighter. The bathroom’s door clicked behind his back, letting him savor the illusory distance between them. 

 

The water was scalding, though never like Kaito’s touch; it never took his sound judgement away, it didn’t make every inch of his heart ache, it wasn’t  _ human passion  _ and  _ heat _ and the sting of regret that came after. While he showered his body thoroughly, he made sure to scrub off all the remnants of Kaito’s desire. Had his stomach been fuller, its contents would be so messed up he’d have trouble holding them in. He smoothed a hand down his lower belly and realized that he was so totally appeased and fuck-dazed to overshadow all his previous sexual encounters. 

He scrubbed, scrubbed, and scrubbed all over again. He scrubbed under his fingernails, under his feet even. The ecstasy Kaito had given him, though forever lost, had tattooed annoying reminders like invisible imprints all over his flesh, in his muscles’ memory, and it was a shame that he couldn’t reach inside himself and keep scrubbing.

A towel was wrapped around his waist when he got out of the bathroom, and he tried to ignore the fact that Kaito hadn’t even bothered. 

Sprawled onto the bed with a cigarette tucked between his full lips, he was as naked as the day he was born. If he was expecting it to affect Shuuichi he was in for a disappointing surprise, but his effort to at least reorganize the mess they’d left around the room while getting undressed didn’t evade Shuuichi’s radar, who knew when it was appropriate to appreciate someone’s efforts. As a result, the cabin didn’t look like a battlefield anymore. The visual component was everything if they wanted to depart with some kind of grace.  

“I didn’t notice the tattoo earlier”, Shuuichi remarked as he went to retrieve his dress, roughly folded on one of the pillows.    


“Oh, this? Most stupid thing I’ve ever done.” Kaito stared up at the ceiling with enigmatic fondness. 

“I thought fucking me beat the record”, the detective admitted, his lips curving into a satisfied smile. Whether he was satisfied with himself, or with his joke, there was no way of truly knowing simply because his facade wasn’t thought through. Lying to Kaito wasn’t his intention from the start.

Kaito took a drag from his smoke, which fit between his thumb and forefinger as if it was made for that spot. “I guess I’m a real asshole if I confirm that now, right?”

“No.” Shuuichi shook his head firmly. “You’re realistic.”

“Too bad I never had that virtue.” Kaito’s eyes were exactly like he feared when Shuuichi looked at him; they had the same smoldering honesty in them that could eat the world raw. 

“I was hoping that…” Shuuichi began, but he had to try again when his voice cracked. “I reflected before going through with it, and I reached the conclusion that you seduced me for a reason. To manipulate me. To deceive me. To get rid of me, maybe. Really, the possibilities are many. You have a way of defying my expectations...”

Kaito sneaked one hand behind Shuuichi’s neck, flopped back against the pillows and took the detective down with him. His words were a whisper on Shuuichi’s lips. “What’s the most likely possibility?”

“Mh… You feed me a hardly believable, but convincing act for a few hours in order to make me depend on you. The actual goal is to bring me to a secluded space, somewhere no one would bother us, while you execute your duty as Ouma Kokichi’s underling… Whatever that duty may be. Before that, though, there’s my earpiece. I am in direct communication with Headquarters and you can’t attempt anything so long as that stands. Even with the earpiece removed, there’s still the microphone, which is somewhere on my clothes. Let’s say you decide to have some fun with me as I know you guys at times do… I manage to draw enough information out of you, which HQ will receive, without you even noticing before you eventually incapacitate me to speak, knock me out, or, less likely, kill me. It all goes without a hitch.” Shuuichi looked down at his hands, resting on his partner’s pecs. His thumb was drawing imaginary planets into Kaito’s olive skin.

“Now I get why they chose you for this mission.” The man made it sound like he was finally in on the joke. His wide hands dragged up Shuuichi’s hips, brushing against his sides. “That sharp brain of yours. I’m stunned. No, really.”   


“You shouldn’t be.”

“Why? I don’t want to pretend I’m the good guy here.”

That struck a nerve because the detective reached down and slotted their mouths together a bit too abruptly. He kissed his partner fervently, as if by letting go, leaving that sentence linger any longer in their minds, would have deprived him of oxygen. “Stop that… I don’t want the cold, hard facts from you. Those I can discern on my own. And this… There is nothing remotely clever about sleeping with me, and  _ you  _ are foolish for not caring.”   


“So there isn’t”, Kaito exhaled, but Shuuichi immediately saw through him. The inclination of his gaze, the small gap between his lips, in which a cigarette or a finger would have fit just so… Kaito represented a living, breathing distraction. “I’ll admit I still regret my tattoo more. I was seventeen and much too obstinate for my own good. The questionable companies had been there for a long time. It’s one of those things that make you feel like an adult… Hah.” Again, he showed to be completely unbothered by their circumstances. “Y’know, I never really understood what that meant, until...”

Shuuichi steadied himself, but it wasn’t enough to keep the tenderness out of his voice anymore. “If I make you feel that way, you should have ran.”

“I’m afraid I’m no good at that either.”

Despite his best efforts, a sizzling heat spread all over Shuuichi’s face. Kaito’s eyelids dropped. One kiss led to another, and another…

One of Kaito’s legs was up between his, Kaito’s hair in his fingers, and the discriminating noise of their slick mouths was making Shuuichi’s mind go numb. Shuuichi kissed him again and again, till his pulse was a lackluster beat, till he could recite the shape of Kaito’s lips and neck by heart.

 

After he finished dressing himself, he retrieved his gun and put it back in its holder around his thigh. Kaito lit himself another cigarette.

He had all the answers he longer for, except a few unimportant details that didn’t change the full picture. The real undercover agent he was supposed to meet up with probably lay unconscious in some other cabin, if Ouma didn’t decide otherwise. 

“In the end, this cover was pretty much useless,” Shuuichi said. He took his wig from the other’s outstretched hand, but hesitated in putting it on. “I’m sorry there won’t be a second date. You and...  _ Sonia _ would have gotten along well. It’s a pity.”

Kaito cracked a smirk. “Yeah, yeah, spare me the  _ “it’s not you, it’s me” _ bullshit. I don’t know why you think it makes this shit any easier.”

“We just had sex and you’re acting all dramatic,” Shuuichi sighed loudly. “Men can’t handle a break up.”

“Show some sympathy, you’d get it if the most beautiful person in the universe was dumping you”, Kaito all but moaned. “Jeez, how cold.”

Shuuichi scoffed at him and shook his head in exaggerated disbelief. “You shameless adulator. How come you’re still Ouma’s underling?”

Kaito trailed his fingers down the detective’s back from his sitting position at the feet of the bed. Even as he joked with Shuuichi his eyes betrayed a certain reluctance. “All is fair in love and war? Or somethin’ like that?”

“At least let me leave”, the detective noted, pushing Kaito’s arm away without malice. “You’re being stupidly stubborn. Please, just… Don’t make this harder.”

Not his request, rather the way he talked dampened the mood. Kaito nodded curtly and leant his weight on his arms behind himself. He held Shuuichi’s gaze with a stern expression. “Go. The back of the boat should be pretty safe for now. When you get out of this door, run there as fast as you can or some bastard will find you and... These motherfuckers aren’t like me. I guarantee it.”

As the detective walked away, a strangling weight settled in his chest, refusing to leave. He allowed himself to think of the departing kiss he wished he could give Kaito, short enough to hurt like taking off a bandaid but significant enough to bring them closure.

Instead, the hold Kaito kept on his hand got thinner and softer, till it painlessly disappeared; just like a caress between wakefulness and sleep.

 

“Ah, Shuuichi.” His voice had taken on a light-hearted tone again. “Will Miss Sonia forgive me if next time I take  _ you _ for a spin?”

  
  
  


+++

  
  
  


The doors seemed to have no end, the hallway proceeded on and on like something out of a nightmare. 

Shuuichi’s heart was racing, filling up his ribcage, his blood pumping in his ears and all his skin was damp from the heat, sweat crowning his forehead, making him hyper-aware of every barefoot step that echoed behind him, of every meter he still had ahead.

He couldn’t even believe he had let himself act so sentimental, to the point of almost jeopardizing his belief in arbitrary justice. For what? Some game of play-pretend, some hours of false bliss. The detective knew that he shouldn’t have meddled with something far bigger than him; willingly fucking a man with a significant criminal record, and moreover, an active member of the organization he was investigating? He must have gone nuts. 

Those feelings were nothing he hadn’t dealt with before, they were a ghost-limb, always and forever with him. Shuuichi was preserving the self-loathing and the razor-edged bitterness of heartbreak for a safer moment. A lonely place. 

It felt like someone had taken bites off his heart and left him to bleed out; and he kept running South, where he knew he would find the tail of the boat, while he coaxed new oxygen into his lungs. His skin tingled and glistened like something precious and rare, and in his high Shuuichi didn’t realize he was smiling.  

He passed by the stairs to the top floor, ignored them and threw open the emergency exit that would lead him to the lowest deck. And there, carefully arranged before him, he saw the watercrafts. 

They were exactly the same as he had checked them out right after boarding the ship, with the exception that Rantaro sat on one of them, one leg thrown casually over the other; he was sipping on some frizzy drink from a can. 

When he saw Shuuichi standing there with one arm frozen in the middle of shutting the door, Rantaro crushed the can with the sheer force of his fingers and threw it somewhere on the floor. Then he opened his mouth, reconsidered what he was about to say and cleared his throat. “Well, it didn’t take you too long.”

The detective blinked. A few times. The other had clearly not been expecting him so soon. “I was lucky no one noticed me in this state. The hallways were empty.”

Rantaro seemed to accept that as an answer and nodded at the ceiling. “Ouma just started giving out free drinks.”

“How…?”

“I think the bodyguard who saw me exaggerated a bit with the partying. Taking him out was disturbingly easy… By the looks of it, you also had a fun time.”

“Please, let’s just get out of here  _ now _ .”

As Shuuichi made his way over to Rantaro with long strides, the officer choked down a scoff. “Sure, sure.” He purposefully deepened his voice and glanced back at Shuuichi, who was tentatively getting on the backseat of the watercraft. “Brace yourself for the best ride of your life, baby.”   
Shuuichi heard a tired laugh leave his lungs. “Have you ever been on one of these?”   
“Well, if the trip to come to your rescue counts… This will be my second; I’m basically a pro.”

“Cut the bullshit”, Shuuichi said without bite. He lightly punched Rantaro’s back to enforce the message. “Or, at least… Save it for tomorrow, I’ll be much more inclined to take a joke.”

“Ouch. I take back what I said, man.” Rantaro deflated. The hangar door started to slide upwards and the watercraft jerked to life, pulling into the sea with a force that almost slammed Shuuichi off the vehicle. “W-Watch out, Saihara!”

Needless to say, Shuuichi’s hands were balled into fists around the elastic fabric of Rantaro’s diving suit. The detective had never felt more thankful than he did in that moment for leaving the heels behind. He swallowed his own saliva before leaning up to get a better view of the horizon; a big red sun was barely beginning to scrape the surface of the sea, painting the sky a dark shade of grey. 

The knot in his throat seemed to drop then, and his intrusive thoughts slipped out of his mind as he stared some more, though the strong wind made him blink repeatedly. The alarming rocking to and fro of the watercraft also calmed down, and the hold of his arms around his coworker loosened a bit. 

“You know.” There was a smile in Rantaro’s voice. An apology, too. “Shirogane did a good job.”

He acknowledged the compliment merely for what it was and he knew Rantaro probably meant every word, but all Shuuichi saw was a ruined evening dress and the sting of having left on board more than he could hope to get back. “And you didn’t even see me after she was done with me”, he replied. 

“Actually, Harukawa sent pictures to everyone.”

“S-She... has pictures?”

“She said it was  _ payback _ . Don’t ask me what for.”

Shuuichi begrudgingly stored the information away for later. “Rantato… The original plan was to collect me once I gave Harukawa the signal over the transmitter. I never did.”

“We received word from the other team that their agent had been compromised on board, but only once it was too late: Harukawa said that she couldn’t talk to you for a while. We thought you were advancing the investigation, but then… Someone else spoke into your transmitter.” Rantaro’s pause was eloquent enough. “And he said to collect you as soon as we could. It was clear that you were in danger. He sounded pretty freaked out, so we just assumed my intervention was due.”

“He… They probably already knew about the undercover detectives boarding the ship. If the other team’s agent was compromised, it’s possible that his intel was used to lead them to me...”

“You should have told Harukawa immediately once you noticed the mission was pointless.” The detective frowned when he realized Rantaro was scolding him. 

“Just because I did, it doesn’t mean I couldn’t investigate”, Shuuichi countered. “At least I had to try...”

“I reckon you found something far more interesting to investigate than counterfeit IDs, no?”

“That… may be true.”

Rantaro’s shoulders tensed, but Shuuichi felt that faint, coarse laugh reverberate against his chest. Yet he didn’t add anything to the conversation for a while, giving him space. The relative quiet gave Shuuichi a way to rearrange his thoughts and wash the act away, discarding his brief history as Sonia Nevermind to a place where it belonged. True; the leaked intel had invalidated the mission, but his true identity hadn’t been found out, and with the disguise altering his appearance to the point that even his gender had been made unclear, DICE would have a hard time recovering information about the Department that was on their tracks. 

Now, Maki, and what Maki had certainly  _ heard _ , was a problem to be dealt with separately. Shuuichi esteemed about three weeks as a recovery period. He had no way to be sure how long it would take for her to actually talk to him again, but Maki wasn’t well known among the the detectives for forgivingness.

All things considered, it hadn’t been a total failure. 

All things, except one… There was one crucial detail that didn’t align with Shuuichi’s calculations, had never belonged there in the first place. He decided to call it unfinished business. Something he tucked away for the moment being; no need to worry about it, not now and not later. In truth, Shuuichi had all the reasons to be worried, and at the same time none was realistic if associated to Kaito. 

A slightly amused smile betrayed his serene demeanor. 

Those occasions when life decided to throw you a bone had a way to resemble comets. If you don’t pay enough attention, it’s a miss. But if you do, if you do… Chances are, you will never see it coming anyway.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, comments make my day!


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